Never give up on hope.

February 16, 2015

Dear Little Baby,

Today, some lady doctor came in and told me that they were going to be doing a review to “decide whether or not to just send me home.” I really did think that we had already fought this fight–I am not going to just go home to “miscarry.” Hate to tell this lady, but she has met her match. I can already see that this is going to be yet another fight, but you don’t have to worry Little Baby. I’ll always fight for you. Don’t get me wrong–I would LOVE to be at home in my own bed surrounded by our family, but right now I am doing what is best for YOU. Because that’s what Mommies do. I won’t always be your favorite person on the planet, but I can promise that everything I do for you or to you will be what I think is best for you, because I am your Mommy.

I got to see “in real life” how little/big you really are. The hospital has what is called “Wee Bundles” that are life sized dolls of premature babies. It was cool to see how little/big you are right now, but looking at a baby doll of you at your current size versus the size of a full term baby, it brought me almost to tears. I can’t believe that a person can be that little and still survive. It was an extremely humbling experience, and at the same time, it was very much needed. They showed me a baby doll of our goal (34 weeks) and even though that baby is still super small, it is more “believable.” I guess we are just going to have to hang in there and hang on. As long as you’re fighting, so am I. I love you to infinity and beyond.

Mommy

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