Never give up on hope.

After a long discussion with Jeremy, we have decided that we are going to try again. Obviously not today, but we aren’t going to wait a super long time, either. As soon as I am ready and he is ready, we will try again. It’s both comforting and terrifying. What if something happens this time, too? I don’t know if I could survive this a second time. But there is a gaping hole in my life–I was supposed to get a son! So now I want a son to dress up and have a Momma’s Boy. He can never replace Carter. Ever. But I would like a son. And when I brought that up to Jeremy, he said that if I give him three more girls before we have another boy, then so be it. We’ll just have the big family that I have always wanted. I know that there is going to be a mixed response to this post, but it’s my body, my uterus, and my family. And for those of you that are going to say how dangerous that many C-Sections would be, Don’t worry–I’m going to have VBACs. Carter proved that my uterus isn’t going to rupture, so VBACs it is. So…as worried as some people are going to be and whatever, this was a choice that Jeremy and I came to together.

Nobody else had to endure the pain the he and I did with the loss of our son, so nobody else can judge us for how we handle it or what we do in relation to child-bearing. We know the risks. But isn’t a baby worth any risk?

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Comments on: "We’re Going To Try Again" (2)

  1. Good for you ❤
    I totally agree. When I lost my baby, though a very early miscarriage, I had to fill that hole.
    Your body will give you a healthy long pregnancy and a happy baby this time, I just know it. I know you will always feel the loss of Carter, as you should, but maybe another baby will at least help you move on a little bit. He will never be forgotten, but someday a big family will be at Heavens door to reunite with him. I think he would be happy to see you have more siblings for him. He wouldn't want you to be in pain forever.

    -Alyssa

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Alyssa. I know that some people (particularly people in my “family”) aren’t going to be very supportive. But their opinions don’t matter to me. 🙂

      Like

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