March 24, 2015

Dear Carter,

Today, I am so mad at your Daddy that I can’t even put into words why I am angry with him. I am literally so angry that I am sick to my stomach. I am angry at the world, but I feel like if there is one person that I should be able to be a TEAM with, it’s your Daddy, but today he showed me that he is not interested in being a team. He can be so selfish, and it pisses me off. I just feel like he should be more worried about his family and his home than he is. But I guess that is my problem. I feel so helpless these days. I couldn’t save you. I can’t do anything to help your sister. And I don’t have any control over what happens to Genesis. My mother has her. And I believe we all know how I feel about my mother. And now, my marriage is falling apart and I am helpless to fix that, too. I just want you back, Carter. I just want my babies. I love you more than words can ever say.

Here Without You,
Mommy