Never give up on hope.

April 19, 2015

Dear Carter,

I have been writing professionally as of late. I found an awesome website called iWriter that offers freelance writing jobs for specified amounts of money. Right now, the jobs that I complete don’t pay that much but I am just starting out. The more reviews that you receive (and the better that they are) the better pay you get. For example, right now, a 700 word article earns me roughly $5. Still, $5 for 700 words adds up if you actually devote time and energy to writing. At the highest pay level, a 700 word article earns roughly $50, sometimes more. There are two levels in between the lowest tier and the highest tier. And considering that I am about a quarter of the way through the first tier on my first day? I can’t complain too much. When you died, I realized that there is enough misery in my life and in this world. I refuse to contribute any more to my own misery. That has meant cutting some people out of my life. That has meant making some tough decisions. But it has also led me to an epiphany of sorts–I want to write. I have always loved writing. I am working on my novel again. I am writing at all hours of the day now. Sometimes, instead of sleeping, I write. Coffee and writing. I can’t stay up writing tonight, as much as I desperately want to. I have an appointment tomorrow that I can’t miss. But when I get home, I will be writing again. I have written at least 5,000 words today, not including my blog posts. So…I’ve held my own as far as writing is concerned on here. I write about you often. You are my best main character, son. I miss you every single day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.

Still Here Without You,
Mommy

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